Are You Struggling?
Dear dog owners struggling to get help with your dogs,
You are not alone. It’s frustrating, it’s discouraging, it sometimes feels hopeless…. I understand. You want your dog to be happy and well adjusted, so you’re watching all the videos on YouTube, you’re reading all the books, you’ve probably even gone through a few different trainers, trying to find that “magic key” that will turn things around and get your beloved pet dog back on the right paw… and nothing seems to be working. Or, at the least, you’re only getting limited, temporary changes and them bam! The dog regresses and you’re right back to Square One – possibly, even worse. I understand. Truly, I do. And my heart goes out to you.
If you haven’t already done this, maybe you could try working with a common-sense trainer. Also known as balanced trainers, these trainers use a fair system of rewards and consequences to help your dog learn how to make better, wiser, safer choices. They help you and your dog build a strong foundation of mutual trust and respect with each other, they help you and your dog build confidence in each other and in yourself, they help you learn how to read and better communicate with your dog so that you can advocate for them when you need to [which, in turn, builds and strengthens their trust in you], they help you become more aware of your own state of being so that you and your dog can become more closely attuned to each other, and so much more.
If you’ve been told your dog needs to be medicated, please consider finding a good balanced trainer before pursuing that path. The truth is, most dogs actually do not need to be medicated; they just need to be given structure, and to learn rules and boundaries. If you’ve been told your dog needs to be euthanized, please don’t do that without seeing a good balanced trainer first. Because, 99% of the time, it’s just a matter of the dog not having proper structure, rules, and boundaries, and providing those things can and will turn things around. Euthanasia should only be considered if there’s something neurologically or otherwise medically wrong that can’t be resolved or even managed.
Don’t give up on your dog. There is help available. If you’ve already tried the positive-only, force-free route and it hasn’t made any real difference [or, if it’s made things worse, not better, which does happen], please give balanced training a chance. Please. It just might save your dog’s life.
Have a great day, and remember to stay calm and lead on.
Wake-up Call
A few years ago, I left Facebook because it had become so toxic that it was starting to affect my mental, emotional, and even physical health and well-being. When I returned, it seemed the environment had vastly improved, so I set up a page there again. Today, I am reconsidering that decision.
Over the past year, the environment has become more and more toxic. Trainers from both the balanced and the rewards-based/force-free communities are at war with each other yet again, thanks in large part to one social media influencer who is actively trying to wipe out the entire community of balanced, common-sense trainers. He claims to be a force-free trainer, but he has been caught out several times using the very things he claims to be against: force and intimidation. He justifies it by calling it “management”, but anyone with eyes and the ability for critical thinking can see the hypocrisy.
My point is this: People from both sides are at each other’s throats. Very serious accusations have been flying back and forth, and no one seems to care who gets hurt in the crossfire. For a long time, I was able to bite my tongue – until the influencer equated balanced trainers with domestic violence. That was a huge line to cross, and before I knew it, I had jumped into the fire with both feet.
This morning, I woke up and realized that the moment I jumped into that mess, I compromised my integrity. As a trainer, I need to lead by example; I can’t expect owners to trust or respect me if I’m hurling insults or firing off accusations I can’t actually prove to be true, or bullying others, or generally behaving like a spoiled brat throwing a temper tantrum. As a human being, I can’t expect anyone to respect me or follow me if I’m lowering myself to the levels of bad behavior I’ve been seeing more and more.
Today, I am rethinking my decision to give Facebook another chance. Allowing myself to be triggered into what I feel is a serious compromise of my integrity and values… That is not okay. I’m trying to help owners and their dogs, and I’m not doing that – I’m not leading by example – by participating in the ongoing, endless war between the two major methodologies.
Thank you for your continued support. I will do better and I will be better from here on out. Have a great day and a great weekend, and remember to stay calm and lead on.
Happy Dawgs Obedience Training 